Tonight the air buzzes with that electric hum this city is famous for. Cigarette smoke, perfume,sewer funk, the clamor of voices in conversation. People in search of fire and memories that do not yet exist. That force of life. Something I’m in love with, but despise at the same time. Regardless it was a good walk. I saw a friend perform tonight. He did his thing. I have a stupid fucking office meeting in the further of the morning so I should be off this. I will in a bit…
Summer is upon us. A silent pressure lies within me I can’t help but entertain it. It as well as the other thoughts, wants, and needs. I’m in a million places at once sitting still. I wish I was at a backyard get together with all of my friends. I wish I was traveling on road trip or on a plane. I need to secure finances for the next few months into the next season. I want to go on a date with one woman out of all the women in the whole fucking city and the shit clicks. But at this particular moment I want to be elsewhere…….
Polisix/Unseen- Freek Dolly
This song is old as hell made back in junior year in high school, and very SA-RA influenced…..
Mental exhaustion + Physical exhaustion = a very stern fuck you. I’m seriously running on fumes everything from home life to my job, and let’s not forget that ever so deceitful mother fucker the past. I’ve just about had it. I lived through, and continue to live through some terrible situations. I wake up everyday fighting for my future. I can still see the world in color, but everything is just a little more pointless now, a little more irritating. I watch the news, I’m in the public, and all I see is the bullshit that pours from people’s souls. Racial agenda, gay agenda, anti-gay agenda, religious agenda, atheist agenda, what Love is, what beauty is, what good is. Everybody swears they’re right. SHUT THE FUCK UP!!! I’m sick of the bullshit. Fuck you and your thoughts and your supercilliousness, your store bought righteousness. Am I being hypocritical by posting my personal views and saying what I said? No see…anybody else’s opinion more than likely is stated under the facade of not looking for validation, but we all know that’s a damn lie. I genuinely don’t care if you get my point. To be quite honest it’s all pointless.,why? Because of the fact we’re entitled to our own point of view. In knowing that My rebuttal to your rebuttal is still a starched and pressed….Fuck You! I know I’m not being heard really. This is the ambient buzz you hear in complete silence. Things aren’t going to change because I wrote and posted this. That’s acceptable. I’m just making something that was alive in my mind semi tangible. My psychological cigarette ( I quit smoking by the way 4 months now) Whether you listened or heard or ignored have a good one…..
It’s fall soo I guess it’s time to break out those sweaters, watch the foliage change color, and eat a granny smith apple or some shit. As summer graces us with it’s final riches. I stand a little frayed. I know how fast time can pass, but goddamn it was just July a minute ago. Now there’s Halloween and Thanksgiving shit everywhere. I woke up this morning and it was chilly as fuck. Ahh fuck it there’s no need to be up in arms about it. As soon as it leaves the sooner it comes back. But there is the big cold Bastard coming up (psst! Winter). I’m not looking forward to that. The only survival tools are a gf (unfortunately don’t have one)P.O.T(pussy on tap) or good booze and Netflix. And even that’s not really enough. I love autumn though. Unlike New Years this really is a season of a new beginning. A turning of what is considered complacency or normalcy. I can digg that..