Ah! The first day of September. The first day of the few weeks Summer pity fucks us before she leaves us with her temperamental friends, and goes on to show love to all the others on the opposite side of the world. Today Is Labor Day. Today is also The Fools Gold Day Off/ Night Off. A tradition introduced to me by my good friend Jarred. He died earlier this summer so today I gotta post about him. I remember the first year we went. We went to the Night Off I got the feverish phone call to drop everything I was doing and meet him. I was visiting my sis on Long Island so we met in Hempstead got on the N6 and caught the F train headed to West 4th. We asked some store owner smoking a cigarette where Carmine street was. He was an asshole and was about to send us in the wrong direction. Until a homeless man shouted out “FUCK THAT GUY CARMINE’S THAT WAY” and the homeless man was right. We popped him a dollar and walked in the correct direction. We could then see the cluster of 20 somethings smoking cigarettes sitting on the concrete sidewalks in front of The Westway. We were so unsure. We didn’t know if we’d get in or not. It being the first real event we’d gone to ever. The line started up and the bouncers do the usual rape tango of patting you down and checking I.Ds. After about 30 mins as things really kicked up it was everything was what we imagined it would be. Getting the chance to hang out so candidly with people we Idolized, as well as with like minded cool people. It was just a buzz of electricity that really can’t be matched. We even went on stage and hung out with some model chicks. That night was all we could talk about for months. So the next year we made sure others joined in, and we went went every year. Soo today we’re going in his memory draped in his spirit. I remember when I was younger looking at celebrity deaths or the deaths or deaths of people in the neighborhood or even distant relatives, and not feeling the deepness of loss. I was soo far removed. Not that I wasn’t empathetic. I just couldn’t feel what they were feeling. Even months, years after that person was gone. My mother said one it would happen to me. Now that it has I can only say treasure your time with everybody you know. Shit…. treasure your time with yourself. Make moments those are the beautiful knives that cut through the sadness, but stab us a little bit. Anyway don’t mean to depress you. Today is a day to relax . I’m about to party(kind of) I hope the best for all of you whatever you do.
This summer has been… a very fucked up one. Not 100% fucked up maybe like 85% There have been a few shimmery glittery moments , but still nonetheless fucked up. I got sidetracked by my best friend’s death. It still is affecting me. There’s this feeling just hanging around and In many ways I don’t have a problem with it. I can’t forget him. In this un-forgetfullness I want to do better in his memory and bring myself to where I need to be. I look at the rapidly approaching new season, and a lot comes to mind. As much as I beat myself up there is a lot of good I do,and I am bringing myself forward but I don’t feel accomplished. Anyway there isn’t any real direction to this little post. I just wanted to say something.